So the news is in: Adele’s 25 has sold 3.38 million copies in one week. In the United States alone. It now holds the record for most album sales in a seven-day period since Soundscan started tracking in 1991. That’s almost a MILLION copies more than the previous record-holder (‘NSync with 2000’s No Strings Attached at 2.4 million.) To further break it down: 1 in 100 Americans bought Adele’s album in its first week alone, meaning 335 copies were sold every minute. So Adele’s pop-culture status is further solidified. But what if you’re not part of this elite one per cent? Every water cooler conversation from here to the holidays will be about 25 (or having to stomach a mother-in-law’s awful stuffing.) You’re going to have to be water-cooler prepared. Luckily for you gigs and grub has prepared some cue cards in case you get caught in a Adele convo, and can’t match the level of fandom your coworkers have: 1. “Have you seen the SNL skit about Hello?” This Thanksgiving-themed bit from Saturday Night Live poking fun at Adele’s return to the spotlight has everything: ignorant grandparents, interracial relationships, and torrential wind storms. From newborns to geriatrics everyone loves Adele, and nothing captures this quality quite like this hilarious skit. Cue the sepia filter (I'd post the video but copyright laws make it impossible in Canada). 2. “…Or Adele dressed as an Adele impersonator?” To add insult to injury, not only is Adele’s left pinky more talented than my whole body, but she’s incredibly funny/charming too. Take this piece for Alan Carr where she dresses up as an Adele impersonator in a room full of Adele impersonators. She pretends to shit the bed, and then blows them all away. I’m not doing it justice. Just watch: 3. “That ‘When We Were Young’ note!” This will be Adele’s swan song when she decides to retire (but let’s never reach that point please.) DID YOU HEAR THAT NOTE AFTER THE BRIDGE? Every person who gets knocked unconscious by falling debris hopes they wake up with that Goddess ability. Bonus fact: Canadian crooner Tobias Jesso Jr. scored a writing credit on this perfect ballad. Hockey! Poutine! Writing one of Adele’s best tracks! Viva La Canucks. 4. “Have you seen her famous friends?”
You know how much I would pay to be a fly-on-the-wall when Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, and Adele have girl’s night? It’s around the I’m-calling-my-bank-to-remortgage-my-home amount. My Resolution for 2016 is to complete the BFF diamond… if a restraining order doesn’t come my way first. 5. “Let’s go see her! Eventually!” Adele announced a UK tour… but there’s been ZERO plans to come to North America. Because she likes to see us curl up in the fetal position for years on end. If she does come, have 9-1-1 on speed dial. There will be a lot of stretchers rushing to the venue when she opens her mouth for the first time. It’s been 4.5 years since 21 dropped, so we hope tour cycles don’t take quite as long as albums do. When she does come, let’s all put our hair in buns, find our nicest black ponchos and have a moment. That’s what Adele would want. You’re ready to shine in social situations. Now go watch Netflix’s ten latest shows and you’ll be a well-rounded entertainment genius!
13 Comments
If you’ve been following gigs & grub, you know how much summer festivals mean to me (and how the impending snow is about as welcome as food poisoning.) You also know that based on my favourite festivals, I talk extensively about Wayhome, held in Oro-Medonte for its inaugural year this past July. The lack of large-sized venues in the GTA means Toronto hasn’t received a grand concert experience it deserves in a long time: the Virgin Festival series on the islands fizzled out, and Downsview Park is a royal pain-in-the-ass to get to (not to mention the sound quality is atrocious.) It could be all the negatives surrounding it, but Wayhome weekend was above and beyond any expectations going in. From the beginning, the festival was incredibly welcoming: cars were parked in snaking rows, so no tricky navigating required. Campsites were a good size for sleeping, cooking, Frisbeeing, etc. Some extra shade source would’ve been nice, but hey, this ain’t Algonquin. Tons of food truck options went above-and-beyond your typical pizza fare: Buster’s Sea Cove had wicked-fresh fish tacos and The Drake supplied mouth-watering gourmet nachos. Even the sponsored activities and free swag didn’t lack enthusiasm: Reebok shoes were being doled out and you couldn’t walk two feet without seeing a Molson Canadian bandana. Did I mention the music? Headliners Sam Smith, Neil Young and Kendrick Lamar covered the gamut of musical tastes and energy; Lamar was a grenade of passion, rolling through popular cuts from his two recent studio albums and some classics sprinkled for the hardcore fans. Neil Young was solemn, bringing the massive crowd to a complete silence. Sam Smith closed the entire festival; off earlier in the year for vocal surgery, his voice carried through the festival grounds effortlessly. If the power cut out, I have no doubt his falsetto would’ve blasted to the back of the grounds with no problem. As big as the headliners were, the middle-ground support shouldn’t be taken for granted. St. Vincent plowed through technical problems (and a leather outfit on the hottest day EVER) to bring the most electrifying set of the weekend. Southern rapper BIG K.R.I.T.’s double-time flow and insatiable vigor proved powerful for the intimate crowd. And Toronto’s own synth-pop duo Brave Shores killed their dreaded afternoon slot.
As the Sunday winded down, all the festivalgoers were sporting giant smiles—a whirlwind weekend that left us exhausted, beaten, but in a state of nirvana. Only one question remains: can the 2016 lineup get announced, like, today?
I chose to do a #MCM post after seeing Live Nation Emily share Dave Grohl for hers. It was the third most engaged post on the front page of her Tumblr, behind photo sets of Fall Out Boy and Marina and the Diamonds. So who am I going to choose for my #ManCrushMonday?
He’s crazy talented with a smouldering stare and hit the festival circuit hard this past summer: It’s Hozier!
I first heard the bluesy crooner last year with his breathtaking performance on the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The “Take Me To Church” singer packed his bags and brought the show north of the border, kicking ass at Oro-Medonte’s Wayhome festival this past summer. His bellowing bass-y voice drew in a crowd of thousands despite the scolding sun. There was no cooling down; Hozier brought enough heat to of his own to make sure we were sweating and completely entranced by his mesmerizing presence. Did I mention those long, luscious locks? I’m not that shallow—I know his talent takes centre stage—but seriously, he’s got the hair of a Greek God.
You need to be the total package to get my #MCM vote, and Hozier delivers! While “Church” is his most recognizable song, and his live show is bar none, Hozier’s album shouldn’t be missed. “Jackie and Wilson” is a head-bopper that will get stuck in your head instantly. “From Eden” turns the intensity down into a mellow vibe, with Hozier’s voice instantly filling the room. These are just highlights; the whole album is 53 minutes of euphoria. Even though the singer-songwriter is already well on his way to dominating the world, the victory could be closer than you think: Hozier is up for Favourite Artist - Alternative Rock at the American Music Awards on November 22. He’s got stiff competition from Fall Out Boy and Walk The Moon, but we’ve got faith in our chiseled angel that he’ll take home the trophy. If you’re not caught up on Hozier, take a long, hard look at his perfect man-bun and then listen to his debut self-titled album below. And to think he’s built such a distinct sound at such a young age (he’s only 25) with only one album behind him! We see big things in Hozier’s future.
Take a listen and let me know what you think below. If you only have a few minutes to spare, "From Eden" will give you the feels.
As much as technology has proved to solve many of mankind’s problems, the human race still hasn’t figured out how to resurrect the dead. We take steps to hold on to memories—tombstones in cemeteries, family photos on mantels, plaques on benches—but nothing can replace the feeling of tangibly being with a loved one.
For some reason, the music industry has been at the forefront of revival attempts through holograms. Michael Jackson posthumously performed at the Billboard Music Awards; Elvis Presley joined Celine Dion on American Idol; and most famously, Tupac was a virtual headliner at Coachella. Pardon the pun, but I can’t help but picture the California rapper (who passed away at 25 years old in 1996) rolling in his grave. The sentiment is there: longtime collaborators Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre joined Tupac on the festival stage, bringing excessive amounts of nostalgia. The problem is that replicating the human body and all of its nuances is still not perfect, and when the cracks in the illusion are evident, it completely removes the audience from being immersed in the experience. It also means Tupac looks more like The Dancing Baby Internet meme than a living, breathing entity. First off, why is Tupac glowing? Purporting him as a Photoshopped angel is one way to remind the millennial crowd he’s dead and you’ll never have a chance to see him live. Second, his motions are incredibly gelatinous; his joints look like they’re made of bread pudding. There is nothing transfixing about second-rate technology trying to replicate your favourite artist. If this Tupac hologram fills the latest memory slot of the “Hey Mama” rapper in your head, are concert organizers tainting a legacy? He accomplished a lot in a quarter century; his career and discography were solid before his untimely passing. The more we try to recreate the past, the more our time capsules take on the form of nesting Russian dolls, and the attempts to recreate him dilutes the milestones he achieved while walking the Earth. So how do you keep an artist alive? Well, you can let the current wave of west coast rappers, like YG and Kendrick Lamar, carry Tupac’s torch and evolve the art. Waking his spirit and parading a digital marionette on stage isn’t moving things forward—it’s a veil for fans hopeful of a second coming. We’ve got the memories to keep Tupac alive—so let the man live. Festivals are known for being a weekend escape: the music is the main draw, pulling you into a powerful vortex of released inhibitions and deep euphoria. Along with a mental and emotional release, there’s the food that comes along with it: artisan food trucks offering fish tacos and free range chicken kabobs. Did I mention the beer and alcohol that pairs with your meals?
During festivals, anything goes: Monday is your allotted dated to mend yourself. But just because you’re diving in doesn’t mean headfirst in the deep end; having someone else make every meal racks up a pretty mean bill, not to mention the calories your body will refuse to digest through. A little preparation the night before, and packing your cooler smartly, will cut down your carbohydrate and fat intake while providing satisfying hangover meals all weekend long. A large cheeseburger and fries is roughly 1,110 calories. A woman who wants to lose weight is given a rough guide of 1,200 calories (the math doesn’t add up for me, either.) Outside of the financial burden the grease patties are placing on your wallet, that’s a hefty meal when you’re already dehydrated thanks to copious amounts of Budweiser. If you’ve got a portable stove, bring your own burgers… the leaner, the better, but this is your time to give in to temptation. Instead of buns, wrap the burgers in lettuce, and bring vegetable toppings only… cut the cheese and bacon, ain’t nobody got time to prep that either. Make some fresh guacamole to add flavour and nutrition. Your new calorie count? 460. That’s a 59% calorie reduction, and the savings will cut down too. We figure: Burger at a festival: $8 Eight burgers in a box: $12, Lettucehead: $2, Pickles: $2, Tomato: $2, Avocado + Lime + for Guacamole (some leftover tomato for this too!): $2 Eight festival burgers: $64 Eight DIY burgers: $20 Savings: 69% You can’t argue with math, especially if I didn’t use my fingers to get the result! That’s a lot of cash back in your pocket instead of Chef Volkswagen Van. And the added electrolytes over excessive fat will bring you back to life just in time for The Flaming Lips. Remember, Tupperware is your best friend: Keep all your meals separate so they’re ready to rock. Don’t leave anything that can perish from start date to end date—deli meats and canned food is great to eat on Sunday, and anything with fresh ingredients you can munch Friday or early Saturday. I’ll leave you with some meal ideas for each part of the day. More food = more tolerance for alcohol = more fun = less hangovers = the party doesn’t stop! Please let me know in the comments below if you have any miracle meals when electricity isn’t an option! Some breakfast ideas: Premade breakfast burritos wrapped in tin foil heated in a frying pan or omelettes in a bag (tons of protein). Some lunch ideas: Gluten-free club sandwiches, cans of chili or Tex-Mex salad. Some dinner ideas: Weiners and beans and lentils, veggie tacos or hearty soups. As I discussed in my last blog, bringing Wayhome and Bestival to Toronto made Ontario’s capital a top-notch destination for summer concerts. From the hard-rock edge of Riot Fest to the urban sounds of TURF, every genre under the sun had a festival to feature it front-and-center. And while the music tastes of every festival couldn’t be further apart, one thing remains the same: annoying concertgoers. It’s one thing to stumble by and spill a shot of Coors Light on my flip-flop exposed foot, but I’ve encountered more than one obnoxious imbecile that goes out of their way to ruin your festival experience. And when you do stumble upon them, it’s like diving for a crowd surf with nobody to catch you; your whole experience falls flat. And no amount of force can scrape you off the concrete.
This week, I’m counting down the Top 3 worst type of concertgoers: 3) The Chit-Chatter Oh, how lovely: you brought your sorority sister that you haven’t seen in 10 years to this festival. And instead of riding in the car together, making up for lost time, you decided to do so three inches behind my ear at a frequency Mariah Carey could not match. There’s nothing more absolutely mind-boggling then two people coming to an event for the purpose of listening to something and doing everything in their power to avoid that outcome. If you’re talking about the amazing set RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, awesome! Share that moment! But if your word count is approaching the first seven drafts of War & Peace back-to-back, please invest in a human muzzle. 2) The “Capture The Moment. Every Waking Moment”-er “C’mon! Did Madonna just join Drake on stage?! Crazy! "I need to share this moment” is a perfectly fine reaction in our social media age. But after you snap a quick pic or shoot a bit of footage, put your recording device doooown. I didn’t pay two months of rent to watch the concert through your decade-old flip phone or 3-foot tablet. I’m sure that grainy video and bass-distorted audio is going to be a real treat to watch after. Or until the next concert you attend where you have to delete all that footage to make room for more. Seriously dude: living in the moment doesn’t mean including every Instagram friend in it too. 1) The Chump Who Doesn’t Grasp Personal Space Sweet victory! After coming to this stage at 3 P.M. and watching either washed-up 80s alt-rockers or an A-List actor’s rapping son take the stage (instead of, y’know, eating meals or using the bathroom), the headliners are FINALLY about to come on! Seven hours later, but hey, you have a front row view! And in one swoop, the guy who just funneled 8 Jagerbombs at his campsite has slithered his way to the front thanks to a body lubricant of sunscreen, sweat, and spilled liquor combined. To secure his view, all he had to do was hip-check your 5-foot, 95-pound friend. Before she has time to stand up, the band comes on, and he’s dancing; his elbows crushing into your sides like a drunk uncle whose jokes you refuse to laugh at. Suddenly, you crave burritos, your bladder begs for mercy, and your priorities begin to reset. “We’ll come back to see LCD Soundsystem play the next time they’re in town,” you say, “as long as they don’t break up two months later.” (Spoiler: they split up two months later.) With summer officially over for 2015, we’re now left with three seasons of waiting until the next batch of festivals. With the introduction of Wayhome from festival creators Republic Live, this summer provided more options than ever. So how do you budget going into next festival season? Here’s the top two you can’t miss: 1. BOOTS & HEARTS Date: August 6-9 Cost: $230+ camping fee Location: Burl’s Creek Event Grounds, Barrie Even if you’re not a fan of country, bear with me… 2015 proved to be a great year for this festival, with more of country’s top artists than ever before. With headliners like Brad Paisley and Eric Church gracing the stage, Boots & Hearts pulled all the stops to bring the top country artists just north of Toronto. Boots & Hearts also featured some talented up and comers, like Wes Mack, who opened for Shania Twain on her Rock this Country tour, and High Valley, who just signed with Warner Music Nashville this week. Although you don’t have to dig deep into your pocket to afford Boots & Hearts, keep in mind it’s a four day festival, which means you’re paying also paying for four days of great camping with friends since the camping pass is not included in the ticket fee. If you want to stay clean, a shower pass might be something else to consider. 2. OVO FESTIVAL Date: August long weekend Cost: $60+ Location: Molson Amphitheatre, Toronto You don’t have to go far to see this show. OVO, a two day festival located right in downtown Toronto, will be light on the wallet for every festival fan. OVO takes place on the Sunday and Monday of August long weekend, and the special guests never disappoint. From Stevie Wonder to Kanye West, Drake blesses his home town with the big guns. Drake’s been known to perform new hits at the festival, so if you’re the slightest fan, make sure you don’t miss next year’s show. 3. WAYHOME Date: July 22-24 Cost: $260+ Location: Burl's Creek Event Ground, Barrie With headliners like Neil Young and Sam Smith, festivals like this are priceless. But lucky for us, this is one of the more affordable of the 5 listed. Although the ticket price is around the same as Boots & Hearts, the camping pass is included, saving you $200+ in campground fees. 4. FIELD TRIP Date: June 6-7 Cost: $120+ Location: Fort York & Garrison Common, Toronto This year, Field Trip pulled out all the stops. Headlining the main stage on Saturday was internationally celebrated Alabama Shakes, who recently released their second album "Sounds & Colour". They also brought out some amazing indie artists such as Father John Misty and Marina & the Diamonds. This festival is less frat party, more block party with free access and day-care camp for kids under 12. 5. BESTIVAL Date: June 12-13 Cost: $129.50+ Location: Toronto Island This is the closest you can get to Burning Man without leaving the city. From parades to knitting tents to crazy costumes, the community and crowd literally become the festival. The artists aren't even the main event. It's the experience that matters. This festival is all about positive vibes and inclusion, where everyone is welcome and no one is judged. The festival is also full of hidden secrets, like the narrow path to the clothing optional beach. This year hosted artists Keys N Krates and Florence and the Machine. Although competing with some much larger events around the same time, they still managed to pull off an amazing event, which was necessary since it's the first time this UK festival has played in North America. Those photos of girls in flower crowns and guys in tank tops at Coachella? Not nearly as glamorous as they seem. Remember, Coachella sees roughly 100,000 music fans descend to the festival. Every year. That’s a lot of elbows to throw to get to where you need to go. And none of those destinations are more coveted than the front row of the headlining act.
But how can you navigate crowds without getting crushed by a newfound enemy? Keep these tips in mind and if you don’t find yourself at the barricade, you’ll at least be much closer than the Californian nosebleeds. Attack From the Sides You’re a quarterback, and all those swaying hippy children? They are now linebackers, waiting to pounce on you and your pigskin (or in this case, a cold can of beer.) Don’t give them the satisfaction: if you approach the stage from the left or right, you’ll find yourself closer to the stage than directly in the line of fire. Everyone wants a center view, but how much is that worth when you can’t even see the sparkles on Beyonce’s jacket? Trust me on this one. Make friends OK, scratch that linebacker mentality: it’s time to buddy up with as many people as possible. Let’s say your new friend Jen is in the crowd at Radiohead. You see her signature ponytail, and she’s twenty feet closer to the stage than you. Yelling “JEN! JENNY! JENNIFER” gives The Rock’s doppleganger separating you from #BrandNewBFF much more reason to let you squeeze shoulders, part the red sea and be reunited with your “buddy”. He doesn’t know you met her ten minutes ago at the Port-A-Potty. And what if Jen is actually a VIP event coordinator with an extra backstage pass? Music. Festival. JACKPOT. Play the Waiting Game... Every festival has multiple stages with crowds running back and forth to make the most of the weekend. If you know Kendrick Lamar is playing the main stage later that night, watch the two acts before. As the bands leave the stage to get back on their tour bus, the concertgoers will also need a break too (probably to find the traditional delicacy of festivals: hot dogs.) Inch on up as everyone exits on the downtime. Your bladder will hate you, and your stomach will make the most inhumane noises you’ve ever heard, but your patience will pay off when you’re within arms distance of K-Dot himself. That’s all it takes: be kind, be persistent, and be tactical. With a little extra effort, you’ll make your festival memories that much more stunning, even if your dandelion headpiece falls apart. 5 months. 43 shows. 5 festivals. 14 hot dogs. 73 tequila shots. This summer has been a busy one. I'd like to welcome all of you new readers to gigs & grub. I've created this site to give music and festival lovers (like me!) a little peak into the world of festival evolution and production. In the summer of 2015, I was lucky enough to intern for one of North America's largest music promotion agencies, who armed me with an all-access pass and tickets to any show they promoted all summer long. My internship required me to work all events hosted at the Molson Canadian Amphitheatre, so for festivals like OVO Fest, I had both the crazy hectic backstage experience, as well as seeing the shows front and centre. I was there when Nicki Minaj and Meek Mills came in a rush 1 hour late to their show because they were detained at the border. When Drake rolled up with his 40 person posse, I was there (jaw to the floor... have you seen this man's car??). When Neil Young rocked out at Way Home, I was front stage scarfing down a hot dog. Or when Drake brought out all of his surprise guests at this year's OVO? Front and centre, baby (and the video to show for it below - excuse the quality). I hope that I am able to share with you even a fraction of what I experienced this summer. If there's a certain show or festival you'd like to hear more about, please comment below! I will share as much as I can (or as much as I can without getting in trouble). Enjoy! |
Proudly powered by Weebly